Clear! (In my mind, anyway…)

Try it!

You’re supposed to get your doc’s permission before starting any kind exercise program. Right…Like we all do that or have the time or money for that matter…but because I have had issues and lots and lots of pain, I thought I’d better go through the process.

First came the PCP, (not the drug-Primary Care Physician!). Fortunately for me I belong to one of those Health Care Programs that put you last. Email your physician first, and they may or may NOT get back to you, so just in case your email is not received, please click on this statement that releases us from caring for you at all.(but we can still bill you!) I figured, having just been in my doc’s office a few months ago, I might be able to get off free.

Hi Dr X! I’m thinking of starting to train for 5ks, moving on to 10ks and Halves(Marathons). What do you think? Can I? Your Patient C

In an astounding 24 hours I received this reply:

Dear C:

I don’t know. I haven’t seen you in a couple of months. It’s up to you.

Dr.X

Okay, that’s pretty specific. I’ll take that as a YES!

The ortho-surgeon, Dr. W, was the next one I had to consult. After several attempts to schedule an appointment with his answering machine, I recalled my previous appointment with him for an injury and found his page o’ notes for my treatment plan. They were all I had, as he obviously was not interested in responding to all of my messages. It made me wonder if perhaps he’d finally said ‘Aloha.’

Dr. W was already half there with Aloha shirts, cowboy boots, and a slicked pompadoo. He smiled, okay, friendly enough, and proceeded to ask me what kind of exercise I did-at the time it was swimming and hula.

“Don’t stop doing hula.” Was there a gleam in his eye? Oh dear. Arthritis not withstanding, he gave me an exercise plan on a special note sheet.

This is what it said:

Running uphill ok, yoga ok, DON’T STOP DOING HULA, martial arts low stances ok. He also gave me a gnarly prescription for a ‘super ibuprofen’ that I was to go on and off for three weeks in a row. I looked up the drug and saw that it basically rips your insides out if you take it orally. Yikes. The notes also said ordinary Advil was okay. Big bleed or little bleed, the choice, after all was yours, patient. Just don’t hold me liable! Ice seems like a good non toxic substitute for now. It works immediately and you don’t lose any time or nutrients.

Well, I suppose I ought to check in with the holistic practitioners. My acupuncturist/artist/chef counseled that stretching, massage(now we are talking!), and Chi Kung could keep me up and running alongside a good diet. Whoa. Her face was so solemn, but I think it was practice. I mean, could you honestly hold a straight face while asking questions about how soft, colored or regular your…how did say it, excretory functions were? I was very impressed. But it was the Chi Kung that intrigued me the most. I had done it, and it had made me strong. But to do it correctly you must obey the constraints and my illness had forced me to.

Yes, my old standby, (the theory is that you can amplify illness by doing any kind of circulation practice.) Disregarding the sun rays peaking through imaginary thunderheads and a single angelic cherub singing in my inner backdrop, I realized with care and attention, I can really do this!